Ojos Feliz (Book Excerpt)
February 15, 2010
Eagle Guest Ranch
Datil, New Mexico
Ojos Feliz: The Man With the Happy Eyes
I met a man with dancing eyes today, eyes that twinkled and frolicked as the man did and possessed of a rare humor which brought a smile and laughter to my lips before we even spoke. The banter was constant and flowed so easily, so unlike the stiffness I have met with so recently from another and sheds a pale light on any other considerations. I could love this guy; not saying it would be correct to do so or that it would be a lasting alliance, for such is doubtful when I give it full consideration. Such knowledge only comes with age and experience for some lessons are difficult to learn, let alone to remember at such moments. I flirted shamelessly but have no regrets, gave him my card but doubt he would ever call, though perhaps I may call him?
What of such fun on a work day, a brief interlude laced with laughter that now summons tears as I look back trying to recall the last time anyone made me laugh so easily and regrettably too long ago to recall. It is enough to make me question my long term goals and I wonder if I could I allow myself to live so simply if he would allow me the chance. Perhaps I could, truthfully, for I have already considered it, even as I cautioned myself that such a union could be a recipe for disaster as well. Yes, there would be the first flare of love and passion, the thrill we could share and even a time of bonding and affection, of long excursions to cut wood and a shared effort. But then would come the tension, his inability to cope with my wit and intelligence in spite of the fact the same drew us together. Perhaps he is too simple, another Samuel Gilbert Herrera, proud of his culture and history but most likely lacking the modern skills which in spite of an aversion to them somehow belittles and limits them as well. Such is my first impression from past experience!
Yes, I could love this guy, I already do and I yearn as much for the laughter as for any other emotion I could experience and I desire it equally as much as I do the love and affection which is so absent in my life. It is tolerable all the same for I am happy, so what then is the answer? I so hope to make a friend of this man but I am too shameless not to seek more than that, and for what end? Would it be like Charlie Wetzell then, a love unfulfilled and such as I miss deeply but cannot risk nor in all fairness justify even though he too has that rare ability to make me laugh?
Dancing happy eyes, a frolicking sense of humor and handsome to boot, it could almost be enough! If I even thought for minute he could feel the same I might risk it but to what end I must ask. Such a fine quality, true wit and humor, I do wish for a joyful man! Happy eyes, ojos feliz out in the plains of New Mexico! Antonio………….