Clear Blue Sky
Clear Blue Sky
I am greeted today by a clear blue sky, the suns light reflecting off of crystalline snow and the slate of my life as clean and clear as my surroundings. There will be no New Year’s resolution but rather a resolve to begin anew with my journey through my life. Here are lessons I will carry with me and a new found realization that life does not pause and wait for us to make our choices but simply continues on its merry way regardless of what we do. Although I have been cognizant of that and concerned with my progress I have neglected the obvious and failed to be mindful of my priorities and instead allowed myself to become a victim of circumstance. By allowing the outside influences to direct my actions I wandered from the path, only to awaken to the awareness it is still well within my reach, I have simply drifted into the rough in my distraction!
In this sense the New Year serves its purpose as it opens the door to change. Having always made a practice of reflecting on the previous year’s challenges and accomplishments I find myself with no desire to make a repeat performance of this past one, in spite of the accomplishments! It may not have been all bad but neither was it good and the passage of the years escalates as I grow older, time becomes all the more precious! So it is I have lifted a weight which I brought upon myself and I have already taken a step forward in the right direction. In keeping with a lesson I learned from a dear friend and lover years ago, perhaps the best gift he gave me, I will make this ‘My Year’ and do everything I can to honor that promise. As another dear friend taught me also, we cannot do anything for others unless we take care of ourselves first. This is not a selfish act but rather a means toward being unselfish. If our glass is full we have enough to share, if it is empty we may well be looking for another source to provide for ourselves!
This is the year to honor myself and all of the goals I have set before me. There is a note on my wall which says, “If not now, when? “ and it is a reminder that nothing happens until we make it happen and waiting is not always the best option. There are others who live the opposite and in a simpler existence that might be appropriate but until my life is in such a place I must be the catalyst. There may well come a day when my efforts are focused solely on the changes of the seasons and the demands thereof but until I get there I will make the choices myself. My aim is that simple also, that I may come to a place where the gathering of wood and the planting of the garden be my primary focus, but sadly that is an elusive goal and requires a degree of independence our society prohibits in so many ways. There would still be bills to be paid and one must have a place to live first!
The clearest lesson I carry with me from this past year is to never again allow myself to become so entangled in necessity as to forget the alternatives. I have never been materialistic but the desire to attain financial freedom has been a driving force for the last several years. Sadly, as quickly as I neared that goal I also sunk myself again for no apparent reason or justification, except that perhaps the pending sense of freedom was like the open door of a cage and the breadth of opportunity was too great? Regardless of the reason I realize now that I can make that same step no matter the circumstances and I have attained a much needed freedom in simply accepting that. I also gained enlightenment from another source. An avid reader and ever curious I picked up a book on sale and read a few pages, finding the words so candid, so honest and so in tune with my own heart I had to purchase it even though it was not my usual. Jennifer Lopez’s “True Love” touched my heart as she bared her own soul and affirmed the very lesson we all need to remember, we need to love ourselves before we can accomplish anything else, and she reminded me of the importance of that. She shared her repeated efforts to find fulfillment by pleasing everyone else while neglecting her own person in the process. Celebrity or not she took a leap of faith which I have also done and shared her life for others to peruse and learn from, something we don’t do often enough. She set herself free and decided to “Dance Again,” and I have decided to do the same. It shed a new light on things for me, right out of the clear blue sky.
Happy New Year and many thanks to all of you who have followed and shared my thoughts!