Princess

100MEDIA_IMAG0278
July 14, 2012
Sacred Grounds Coffee Shop
Ruidoso, New Mexico

Princess

The Native American men who I work with find great pleasure in taunting and teasing each other, now that they have grown comfortable with my feminine presence I am no longer spared from the banter. As I pondered my past and present in the early hours of this day it occurred to me I have yet to play my best card in response to their teasing of me. When asked what ‘Wanna Be Tribe’ I am from I responded, with my Fathers suggestion, “I am from the ‘Lost Tribe’, which is true, my Jewish descent allows me such an honor! What I forgot to note is that I am also a princess, a Jewish American Princess! How could I have forgotten except for having put that part of my past so far behind me and it can now become yet one more precious memory in a better context?

Contrast, this could be the word for the day if not for my royal heritage! While working at my second job as a Taxi driver I delivered two jaded pilots to the airport this morning at 5:45 am, prior to the rising of the morning sun. From the moment I awakened it was worth the effort, I caught the first sliver of the new moon through the window of my bus (GRINS) and marked the alignment of Venus and Mars which were grouped closely with yet another planet or bright star. Stepping outside I was also met with the cool silence of the predawn, always enough to stir my feral soul. The drive into town was no less thrilling, I have learned to savor each and every moment of the day and contrast is always welcome, the day promises to offer much of the same!

What a sad lot I found when I picked up my fare, the leader of the two having called me repeatedly to assure I would arrive on time. My well worn phone failed to alert me and left him amidst his worried thoughts, my work phone rang before I had a chance to call him to assure him I was early and he was most certain I would be late! The wide spread of his girth spoke of stress and unhappiness, his impatience reflected the same and he picked at his co pilot for no reason at all, I envied neither one.

I made jovial conversation along the way, more for my own pleasure than theirs. The silent man sitting behind me clung to every word and I sensed his silent agreement. I spoke of living and working amongst a people with whom eye contact is the norm as we all came from a place where it is customary to avoid the same. On one thing we all agreed, money cannot buy happiness; it seems I had my own brand of richness in the end.

Princess. I dropped the pilots off before the sun broke over the mountains, pointing out the gap in the hills where I raised my children in a log cabin so many years ago. I shared the story with my passengers and the one said, “Sounds like a hard life.” I made clear to him there are different versions of that and he sadly agreed.

Free of my fare and with time to spare I drove east another mile to park my taxi and then walked across the hillside to watch the break of day. It took only a moment for me to retreat to the peacefulness of the dawn, sweet smelling with the morning dew on the greening grass and orchestrated by birdsong. The howl of the coyote was soon to follow and I returned the call with equal vigor. Wandering further than I had planned to I was drawn off across the hillside as my mind drifted to the simpler times of the not so distant past, I am eager for more of the same. I watched as the sun crested the craggy mountains where they taper off into the plains of the south and was nearly blinded by its brilliance, my eyes were unable to resist the breaking light on the horizon. I lingered as long as I dared and then returned to my taxi which I had left unlocked along the roadside.

Such a blessed life I live! I stand penniless, for the moment, on the summit of my future. I am assured of much happiness when I look beyond where I currently stand and it is all within my grasp. There was a flicker of loneliness as I watched the sun rise, alone, but it passed quickly. As I walked the crest of the hill I pondered the fact that I have spent the better part of my lifetime in solitude. It has been by choice rather than circumstance and there are so few with whom I have wished to share it with. Though it saddens me to think I am one so different than the rest it is not anything I would change about myself, I have found the stillness I have desired all of my life and it required solitude to attain that! I asked myself if I would be willing to retreat to the wilderness alone if such is required of me and the answer is yes, though I would welcome a suitable companion if I have the choice. Still in all, he would have to be a princely man, or some great warrior, until then the princess will choose to walk alone!

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