My Door To The East

3 Rivers

November 1, 2017

Bohemian Grace II

Three Rivers New Mexico

 

With My Door To The East

 

Having spent the majority of my adult life envisioning my perfect perch I continue the practice. It has, for the most part, been a consistent vision, the cabin in the wilderness, a garden spot and a barn…….and God willing a fine sort of man to share it with. The vision remains though as I age and mature so does its content. The need for the remote solitude prevails, as does the cabin and appurtenances. The desire for that fine feathered companion is also my wish.

 

It is the surroundings which have altered with the years. I once wanted a place deep in some northern forest with rustling leaves and a bubbling stream. Moving west it transitioned and evolved into a canyon which opened into a grassy valley, the stream remained a constant. Then, as I came to love the plains it transitioned once again and required a broad sweep of the earth such as my current dwelling has to offer, with the mountains towering to the immediate north and visible in the distance from elsewhere. The same remains my choice.

 

What has changed but the scope of things. If I once hoped for one hundred acres I would now be content with ten. If I still require the assurance of solitude and peacefulness I have learned one cannot utilize a larger spread, unless of course there is fencing and grass. Both come hard to this desert land I have come to call home. There is also the aging perspective, that I am unwilling and even perhaps unable to embrace the effort and sacrifice to attain a bigger place. If such was once a part of my dream, and one realized when I landed at the Hammett Ranch, it failed to last the test. If the place remains nearby it will never offer me shelter. Or perhaps it will someday, but that would require a change of heart and circumstances. I am not holding my breath!

 

So it is that the dream and the vision is simplified, and therefore more attainable. A small cabin or adobe is the constant, one must have shelter. A usable and accessible piece of land with a water source is required. If I would like grass beneath my feet the desert is also acceptable, and far more attainable. The solitude is essential, though a neighbor in the distance provides a comfort, especially if I am to be alone. The very nature of the place might assure that. Not everyone can live as I have, nor would they want to. I am ok with that, my happiness requires the essence of the wilderness, and it is a fine companion also.

 

I will face my door to the east so as to catch the morning sun. I want to be able to step out to the porch and say my morning prayers. I would have windows in every other direction, if such is attainable. One room would be enough, though it would be nice to have a kitchen and a bedroom in the back. My needs are minimal at best. There will have to be a view, of the plains and the mountains if possible, but I would settle for the plains. And a porch. If I should ever be confined to my house there needs to be a porch. I would spend the bulk of my time there. And a man. It would be nice to have someone to talk to, and eat dinner with. I would like that, but I have also learned to live alone.

 

The lesson is that this is all I’ve ever wanted and here, so many years later, it still is. The grandiose vision is smaller now, but the content remains the same. I have also learned a lesson. I have spent an inordinate amount of time and energy chasing after something somehow unreachable. Oddly enough, at a moment in my life when I have the least resources at hand and the faintest desire to utilize them, the dream is so in reach. I wish I had realized that sooner, but then again, it would not have been the same. I just want my door facing to the east, and I shall be content.

 

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