March 21, 2019
Fort Sumner, New Mexico
Then there is the need for time out! Sometimes we have to break the routine to even recognize the need for a moment for ourselves. These last few days have driven home the requirement for me to take some pure time for myself, which I have already done. All it took was a walk to the river, which is but five minutes away from where I go to work each day. I used to go there frequently, almost very afternoon, in 2017. Here I am, almost two years down the road and having been here since the end of August 2018, six- and one-half months, and I have just now renewed the practice. Yes, it is time for a time out.
It only took a few steps around the corner of the fence to renew my spirit. Certainly, I have been practicing this in other ways; my ritual of a morning prayer, presented in the Native fashion with arms up reached and open to the grace of the dawn, my prayers offered when I go to the wells, out on the plain, and anytime else I feel the desire to do so, but I need more. Yes, I walk off into the peacefulness at times, or take pause to breathe it in, but not often as I should. Instead I have been working, working at work, working at home, on my bus, on my book, on something, always. I need some time out.
It seems that even writing is an effort right now, what with a keyboard well beyond its useful life!
Time out, with a storm lingering on the horizon, a load of laundry in my truck, a bus in need of additional work to make it livable, a ranch in Nogal in dire need of my presence, and a full time job to attend to. It is time to regroup and reevaluate my priorities, even as I move rapidly towards addressing the ones I have been working towards for years. Now I am in the danger zone, focused, engaged, making such good money, again, that I am unwilling to break the routine, even though I must. The beauty of this is that I can, and I will, as I must. Spring arrived yesterday, on a super full moon, on the spring time solstice. I fished until dark on the peaceful banks of the Pecos River, and slept with the light of the full moon shining in my window of my camper. How little there is to complain about, except that I need some time out!
It is time to take some time. I will finish a tedious task today, but with great care also. I took a moment to capture my thoughts, and now I will return to it. If this keyboard were better I might write more, but the effort is too much, and more than I can bear for now. Instead I will proceed with my work, as I should, but being mindful of the need for other things. I will do little else today, except for the simpler tasks. The others will need to wait, and the storms are hanging on the horizon. I will stay the course, but cautiously, and plan an escape for the weekend after this one. That, is an essential. For now I will complete the things I have started and seek out the solace of the river, every chance I get. Time out is essential.